Holly Sanderson

To DivaD

I struggle to remain outside the moments we embraced.

You are in the kitchen when I come home. Our eyes meet, and your smile grows

along with your deep, humming inhale.

As you inhale your shoulders rise, your daddy-long leg arms stretching wide.

As you inhale I run toward you,

As you inhale I exhale your name

As you inhale I mimic the motion of your opening arms.

My lungs inhale as soon as they meet your humming inhale,

my ribs expand harmoniously with yours as our bodies unite in this single breath,

in this daily greeting.

Your arms envelope me fully,

slowly as you bring me into your inhale.

The weight of your arms and your ribs inhaling with mine,

weightless like air.

We become a single inhale,

a breath united.

I struggle to remain outside this moment of embrace.

I can still feel the weight of your weightless arms around me.

I can still feel your rising ribs pressed lightly alongside mine.

Every time I come home, I find myself foolishly surprised at your absence in the kitchen.

Every time I come home I am foolishly expectant.

This time, I inhale alone.

This time, I embrace the air.

I feel your embrace invisibly.

I feel your daddy-long leg arms envelope my shoulders,

a faint weight of your weightless arms once more.

My inhale meets yours in memory.

Optimism is cruel.